


Strictly Business

by aby55al (abyssa1)



Series: aby55al's phan 'books' [5]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Shameless Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:34:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28254747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abyssa1/pseuds/aby55al
Summary: Dan and Phil break up in 2012 but pretend to date for profits.
Relationships: Dan Howell & Phil Lester, Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: aby55al's phan 'books' [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2069271
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

Phil stared at the contract the hung on the wall of their kitchen. For seven years it had ruled his life, ruined his life.

After their breakup in 2012, he and Dan had spent a few months ignoring each other. They didn't hang out, go to events together, or help film. But the fans didn't like that, and so it wasn't long before Dan came up with the proposition.

"Let's just act like we never broke up."

So Dan wrote up the contract and they both signed. They would film together, be active on the other's social media, and at events they would act like they were still dating. That went on for seven years, the contract hanging as a reminder that what they had wasn't real.

Dan was fine with it. He got the views as if he was in a relationship with Phil, with the freedom to fuck whoever he wanted, pretty much whenever.

Phil was miserable. For about two hours a week he got to act on his feelings, and most of that Dan gave unwillingly. Not to mention the hours he had to spend listening to Dan fuck other men or being brought home at 3am. But at least he got those two hours.

Dan walked into the kitchen, hair messy from sleep. He nodded a greeting to Phil, turning his back to make a bowl of cereal. "Can you help me film today?" He asked with a mouthful of Phil's cereal.

"Yeah, sure." Phil hated that he answered so quickly, and how excited he sounded. "What are you filming?"

Dan shrugged, "Something about how meaningless my life is."

Phil forced himself not to comment, and just nodded instead. "Sounds good."

Dan left the room and Phil let out a sigh. It had been increasingly harder to keep up the happy act, and he was tempted to tell Dan that he wanted it to stop. Views weren't worth the emotional distress of being around a person that only pretended to love him. He finished his cereal and then went back up to his room, scrolling Instagram on his laptop until he heard Dan walking his way.

"Ready Phil?" 

Phil nodded and followed Dan to his filming space, doing his best to act like everything was okay. He hadn't noticed it before, but there was a hickey on Dan's neck, right where it met his jaw. He bit his lip and tried to ignore it, adjusting the light so that most of it was covered in shadow. But people would still notice.

"Dan," he said hesitantly, waiting for the brunette to look up before continuing. "You've got a-" Phil gestured at his neck, not really wanting to put it into words.

"Yeah," Dan shrugged. "Not like I'm single. I don't think they'll mind."

"Right." Sometimes it felt like Dan was trying to make his life miserable. The brunette flirted with the camera, winking and biting his lip as he filmed. Phil tried to ignore him, checking all the lights and settings rather than looking at him. He couldn't tell if Dan noticed how uncomfortable he was, but if he did he didn't say anything.

"Hey Phil why don't you come here for a second." Dan looked up at him, finally breaking eye contact with the camera. He was smiling, which was a good sign, but it didn't extend to his eyes. His eyes were detached, how he got when he was forced to interact with Phil.

"Sure." Phil made his way around the maze of wires and lights to settle on the chair next to Dan. He hesitated, but then slid an arm around the other man. Might as well keep up the act while he can.

"Do you know what today is?"

"Uh Tuesday?"

Dan laughed, leaning against Phil's body. Phil didn't expect it, and before he could stop himself he had wrapped his arms around Dan, pulling him into a hug. The other man pulled himself free, though not as quickly as Phil thought he would, and turned to face him again. "It's our anniversary Phil. Ten years."

It would have been.

"Oh yeah!" Phil forced a smile, "I can't believe I forgot."

"That's alright, you can just do something nice for me later," Dan winked at the camera. Phil felt sick. "Anyways, I got you something."

Dan pulled a small blue bag from under his chair. Phil had never seen it in person, but it was a particular shade that he recognized almost instantly. With shaking hands he took the bag, reaching in to pull out a small box. He didn't want to open it, but he really didn't have much of a choice at this point. Forcing a happy face he opened it, two silver bands sitting on black velvet.

"Oh." He couldn't think of anything else to say. Phil had never thought that they would keep up the charade of dating for as long as they did, but this was something new altogether. And terrible. Dan couldn't expect him to agree to this, not after everything.

"Phil, will you marry me?" Dan must've taken the shocked look as something positive. "I love you so much and I don't want to spend my life with anyone else."

Phil's mouth was dry, his hands sweating and shaking. "Yes, of course." He didn't know why he said it, but he couldn't ever say no to Dan. He still loved him. Dan pulled him in for a kiss. Phil hadn't smelled it before but he could taste it now on his lips- Dan had been drinking. How fucking horrible was Phil that Dan had to be drunk to even be around him.

Dan took the box from Phil, hands shaking slightly as he slipped the rings onto their fingers. He kissed him again, pulling away to whisper in his ear, loud enough for the camera to hear, "I love you Phil Lester."


	2. Chapter 2

TW mentions of vomit  
-

Phil somehow managed to make it through filming. He put on his happy face and acted like he was overjoyed to be engaged. He excused himself immediately after the camera turned off, rushing to the bathroom to be sick. He lay flat on the cool tile of the bathroom, panting, and willing the tears that were clouding his vision to stop.

This had gone further than it ever needed to. They should never have done this in the first place. Dan was just using him- Phil was sick again, this time nothing came up but but stinging stomach acid. He wiped his mouth on his sleeve and slid to sit with his back against the wall, curling his arms around his knees to try and find some sort of comfort. His breath was coming too fast so he closed his eyes and practiced some breathing technique he'd read online.

He could feel the ring sitting heavily on his hand, and he brought it up to study in the light. It was just a thin silver band, with a tiny inscription on the inside.

Remember. That was all it said.

Phil took a final deep breath and stood up, holding the sink until he got his balance back. He threw the ring down on the counter and stripped off his shirt, leaving it on the floor. He brushed his teeth, spitting out the bad taste in his mouth before walking to his bedroom, collapsing face first on his bed. It was time to end this.

He'd spent the last seven years torturing himself and pretending that Dan would love him again. Dan had done nothing to warrant that and at every opportunity he made it very clear that he didn't care about Phil. Of course Phil wasn't innocent in this, he had signed the contract, and he was the one that kept doing as Dan asked. But it had to stop. He had to get over Dan.

Speak of the devil. Dan walked into his room, staring quizzically at Phil's naked torso. "What happened to your shirt?"

"Got something on it," Phil mumbled into his pillow, looking away from his fiancé. "What do you want?"

"I wanted to know if you liked the ring. I was gonna switch it out if you didn't like the style-"

"Why didn't you ask me first Dan?" Phil didn't bother to disguise his tone. He had finally made himself angry at Dan and he wasn't about to ruin it. He was so close to being free.

Dan actually seemed taken aback, as if his proposal wasn't completely out of line. "I thought you would be okay with it." He composed himself, "It's not like we're actually getting married."

"This is so fucked up Dan. The fake dating wasn't great, but this is- this is-" Phil couldn't even come up with a word that would encompass how terrible the proposal was.

"I'm sorry." Dan didn't sound sorry. "I'll take them back and film something else."

His dejected voice pulled out that terrible part of Phil that was helpless to him. "No Dan, it's okay. I was just surprised that you would even ask me." He sat up, "I love the ring."

"Good!" Dan pulled him into a hug, Phil's face pressed into his neck. Phil took in his scent, enjoyed the warmth of his bare skin before it was gone. But Dan didn't fully pull away like he usually did. He kept his arms loosely wrapped around Phil, their faces hovering just a few inches apart. They hadn't been this close for this long in years. Dan was the one that leaned forward, connecting their lips briefly, pulling back with his eyes closed before kissing Phil again.

It took a second for Phil to respond but then he reacted on instinct, pulling Dan close and gripping his hips hard. Their tongues tangled in a way that was still familiar, but new. Phil had forgotten that Dan had been drinking, but the taste of vodka on his lips reminded him. Dan pushed him back onto his bed, straddling him and pulling his own shirt off.

"Dan stop it." The man didn't listen, instead pulling Phil closer, moving to kiss and nip at his neck. It took all of his willpower, but Phil pushed Dan off, stepping away from the bed where he was now laying. "We can't do this. You're drunk. You don't know what you're doing."

"Phil I'm not drunk. I just had a few shots before I filmed. I'm fine."

Phil shook his head, running a hand through his hair and pacing his room, "I can't do this right now Dan. Do you know how much shit you've done to me? Like literally do you have any idea?"

Dan shook his head, tears pooling in his eyes.

"And to try this, right now? After that stunt you just pulled?" Phil covered his eyes, leaning back against the wall. "What we have isn't real Dan. We don't love each other. We're not together. You can't just come in here and try to sleep with me, regardless of what we make other people think."

"I'm sorry Phil." Dan stood up, wiping his eyes before Phil could look, "I'll go now."

Phil waited until he heard the door close again before opening his eyes. He took a deep breath and lay back on his bed, staring at the ceiling. For seven years he had tried his best to distance himself from Dan, because Dan didn't love him. Dan had made that very clear. But apparently that wasn't the case, if that incident was any indication.

So what did Dan want from him?


	3. Chapter 3

Phil didn't leave his room for the rest of the day. He finally fell asleep at three, waking periodically to the light of his laptop that was still playing YouTube as he slept. At noon he got tired to pretending to still be sleepy and forced himself up. He made his way to the kitchen, hoping to all the gods that Dan wouldn't be in there.

He was in luck, and he ate his cereal in peace, trying not to think about Dan. Or what had happened last night.

Phil could still taste him, if he closed his eyes he could feel the heat of their bodies pressed together. The way Dan's body gave under his grip, so easily manipulated. It had been so long... Phil banished those thoughts. Dan did not love him, Dan had not loved him for seven years. Last night happened because Phil had initiated it, and because Dan was drunk and easy to manipulate. There wasn't anything real between them anymore.

Phil finished his breakfast and left his dishes in the sink before heading up to take a shower. He stayed in the water until the stream turned cold, methodically planning how to make sure that he wouldn't let Dan know how in love with him he still was. When he finally got out, the room had filled with steam and he almost didn't see the ring sitting on the counter next to his contacts case.

He paused for a moment, then slipped it back on his finger.

Dan didn't sleep at all.

After he left Phil's room he had curled up in his bed with all intentions of crying himself to sleep because he was a fucking dumbass and got rejected by someone that had made it very clear they weren't interested. The crying came, but sleep did not. He lay there for hours, thinking about how he failed and how fucking stupid he was, and staring up at his ceiling. He could hear YouTube playing from Phil's room, he was clearly having an okay time after that, why couldn't Dan get over it?

The contract didn't help, and Dan honestly hated that he had even thought of it. He wished that he had the guts to tell Phil that he didn't want to pretend anymore. He thought that maybe if he did something extreme like proposing that Phil would see that he actually loved him. And that had gotten him the exact opposite of what he wanted. God he was so stupid.

The tears came again and Dan let them fall until his pillow was soaked. How fitting for him to lay in a puddle of his own tears and mope about how shitty his life was. This was his fault, he could end the contract at any time but if he did that Phil would leave. It was easier to pretend to date Phil and at least get to be close to him, even if it was fake. But it was so hard to act like he didn't care.

He brought guys home constantly, trying so hard to find that feeling that he had for Phil. They never could replace it, so he just settled for more. But every time he was with someone all he could think about was Phil. He'd even called his name during a few encounters, but he either didn't hear or didn't care. Why did Dan do this to himself, he never should have broken up with Phil in the first place.

At five Dan finally forced himself out of bed, resigned to the fact that he was a disgusting human being and he wasn't going to get any sleep. He decided that a shower would help and stood under the hot water, letting it burn his skin, until it went cold. He didn't leave the shower, just leaned against the wall and waited for more tears to come. He had to do something about how he felt, but he didn't know what. He knew he couldn't just end the contract, he cared too much about Phil to lose him like that. And he couldn't confess his feelings because Phil didn't feel the same. The best option was to keep going with the contract, but box up his feelings and neatly shove them away. Dan closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths before stepping out of the shower. He could do this.

Phil's ring was sitting on the counter. He wasn't wearing it. He didn't care.

Dan froze, his heart beating too fast. How horrible of a person was he that Phil wouldn't even wear his ring? Did Phil actually hate him that much?

Dan closed his eyes and slowed his breathing. He didn't care about Phil like that, they were just friends. Phil could do whatever he wanted with the ring, it was just for show anyways. They weren't actually engaged. Images of what their wedding could be like formed in Dan's head, making it harder to force himself to move. He pushed them away, it wasn't real, and walked to the counter to do his hair.

Back in his room again he got dressed, he could still hear Phil's laptop on, he was awake. Dan ventured to his door, intent on making some sort of apology, but Phil was asleep. He always looked so peaceful, Dan had made a habit of checking up on him whenever he wandered in the middle of the night. Dan walked in slowly, watching Phil for any sign of movement, and knelt by the side of the bed.

"I love you. For real."

He had said it, even if Phil hadn't actually heard him. Dan stood, staring at his fiancé for a long time, before walking out. He needed to get out of the house for a while.


	4. Chapter 4

The city wasn't awake yet and it was peaceful to walk empty streets as the rising sun made the buildings glow in peach tones. Dan didn't really know where he was going, just that the cold morning air felt nice, and that it was better than being cooped up in the house.

He wandered around for a few hours until he found an open Starbucks. He bought himself a coffee and settled down in a corner booth, drinking slowly. He didn't really know how long he stayed, most of it was spent zoned out and staring at the air in front of him as if it would magically produce an answer to his problem. And then it did.

"Are you okay?" The man who had slid into the seat facing Dan asked.

Dan had to take a second and blink himself back to reality, finally acknowledging the man who was sitting in front of him. "I am now."

The man blushed. He was actually quite cute, dark hair and light eyes that wrinkled at the corners as he smiled at Dan. "I'm Nate."

"Daniel. Nice to meet you." Maybe the man could be the solution to his problems. At least for a little bit. "What brings you to my table Nate?"

"You looked lonely, I thought maybe you could use some company." The man bit his lip, looking at Dan in a way that made his body flush.

"I suppose I could use a little company." Dan weighed his options before deciding, "Care to come home with me?"

It was a very forward request, but the man agreed after only a second of consideration. Dan hadn't expected to find a hookup at two in the afternoon, but he wasn't going to turn one down. At least he could get off, and the man was cute.

After his shower Phil decided to try and talk to Dan. Something needed to happen if he was going to keep living with him. And they needed to talk about what happened last night. Dan still wasn't in the kitchen, so Phil went to the living room, then the gaming room. He checked Dan's bedroom last, but that was empty too. Dan must've gone out.

Phil settled down in the living room, ready to talk to Dan as soon as he got back. It would be best to get this out of the way as soon as possible. He checked his watch, it was a little after two, hopefully Dan wouldn't be out much longer. He quickly got bored and realized that he had left his laptop on his bed, he headed back upstairs to grab it.

As he was unplugging his charger he heard the front door open and then slam closed. He peeked out of his room, afraid to encounter an angry Dan, but was met with something worse. The door had slammed because a man a pushed Dan into it. He was kissing at Dan's neck, the brunette grabbing at his hair, letting out quiet moans. The man's hands dropped lower, Phil heard the sound of a belt being unbuckled. Dan gasped and arched into the man's grip, eyes opening to meet Phil's gaze.

Phil froze, unable to look away as the strange man stripped Dan's shirt off. Dan put a finger over his lips, still looking at Phil as he lead the stranger to their couch. Phil knew he should look away but he couldn't, standing transfixed in his doorway as Dan pushed the man down on the couch. Dan straddled the man, rolling his hips until he let out a lewd moan. The brunette trailed his hands down his body, quiet whimpers falling from his lips as he continued to move his hips.

When Dan reached down to grab a condom and lube from his stash under the couch Phil finally tore his eyes away, stepping back and closing his bedroom door as quietly as he could. That did nothing to block out the sound. Dan had always been loud, and this was no exception. Phil could very clearly hear his moans and whimpers, even through his closed door.

He tried his hardest, but he couldn't help but close his eyes and picture Dan above him, riding him instead of some stranger. _He'd grip Dan's soft hips, fucking up into him as the brunette let out soft moans. Dan would whine and st_ _roke_ _his cock in rhythm, bouncing his hips to hit that spot. He'd whine Phil's name and beg Phil to let him come, looking at him with those doe eyes that he was helpless to resist. He would make Dan wait, watching the man struggle to pull himself away from the edge, constantly on the verge of falling apart._

Phil opened his eyes and realized he had been leaning against his door, craning close to listen to Dan. He stood up and shook his head, rubbing his face and trying to block out the sound of Dan. He turned his laptop on and plugged in headphones, turning up Muse until he couldn't hear anything else, especially Dan.

If Phil wasn't going to watch him, Dan was going to make sure he heard. He rocked back on Nate's cock, letting out the most lewd moans he could, hoping that Phil could hear him. Nate seemed to enjoy how loud he was, the man gripped his hips, thrusting into Dan harder as he got louder. Dan was enjoying himself, but he knew that this was yet another failure to add to his list. Nate was sweet, and big, but he wasn't Phil.

Dan could resist imagining that it was Phil fucking him instead. _Phil would dig_ _his fingers into Dan's hips, leaving dark bruises that he could see for a week, reminding him who he belonged to. He'd pull Dan down to whisper into his ear as he fucked him, telling him what a pretty whore he was, how good he was taking his cock. Phil wouldn't let Dan touch himself, he'd_ _make_ _him wait until he could come just from his cock, then beg for the privilege._

Dan was snapped from his fantasy by Nate finishing, the man letting out a loud moan. Dan sighed and slid off his cock, kneeling between the dark haired man's legs as he used his hand to get himself off. He cleaned up quickly, wiping his cum off Nate's chest before handing the man his clothes and telling him to close the door when he left.

Dan wished he could make Phil care about him again.


	5. Chapter 5

Dan takes another shower. He feels dirty, like he's done something disgusting. It's not like Nate was the first person he'd slept with while Phil was in the house, but that wasn't the reason why he felt so gross. He scrubs at his skin, as if he can scrape off whatever it is about him that's made Phil hate him so much.

He didn't think that Phil hated him until today. Phil had always been civil to him, even with the contract, and he knew that Phil was still his friend at the very least. But when he looked up at Phil today, just before Phil turned away, there was nothing but hatred and disgust in his eyes. He had never seen it before. Phil didn't hate people, honestly Dan didn't even know he was capable of it until he saw it for himself. He shuddered thinking about the icy stare that had been directed at him.

He finally steps out of the shower, not feeling any cleaner despite his raw, pink skin. He wraps his towel around his waist and wipes a spot in the mirror to look at himself. There are dark circles under his eyes and his hair is wild, it's a wonder that Nate came home with him at all. But he still looks like himself. Dan is still there, somewhere under all the sadness.

He sighs and takes one last look at himself before heading back up to his room. He bumps into Phil at the doorway, his towel nearly falling off. He grabs it in time and there is an awkward moment where they just stare at each other. Phil seems calm, and doesn't even react when Dan almost flashes him.

Instead he asks, almost bored, "Want to get a pizza tonight? There's a new documentary on Netflix and I thought we could watch it."

"Sure," Dan croaks, his throat closing up. He fights to keep tears from his eyes as Phil stares at him coldly.

"Okay." And with that, Phil walks away as if he didn't just nearly decimate Dan to a crying mess with only a few words.

Dan walked to his room as quickly as he can, trying to slow down his breathing before he hyperventilates. Why did Phil have to be like that? If he hated Dan he should just tell him, instead of asking him to hang out like nothing had happened. Dan sat on his bed and rested his head in his hands. He had to somehow put himself together before they had dinner, and he honestly had no idea what he was going to do.

Why was Phil making this so hard?

Phil didn't understand why Dan was trying to make his life so hard. All he wanted was to live quietly and pretend that Dan actually loved him, but Dan seemed intent on ruining that. All he had to do was decide whether he liked Phil or not. One second he's kissing him, the next he's brought home some dude and making Phil watch as he fucks him on their couch.

Phil sighed and finally unplugged his headphones, it had been an hour Dan was definitely done by now. The silence of the house reaffirmed his suspicions and he peeked out of his door to be sure before venturing out for a snack. Dan thankfully was not in the kitchen, Phil could hear the shower running, and he had a few blissful moments to himself.

He didn't know what he was going to do. He didn't know what Dan wanted from him, and he couldn't seem to get him alone long enough, and sober, to actually talk about it. Maybe he could come up with some excuse for Dan to hang out with him, as friends, and bring it up.

He leaned against the kitchen counter and pulled up Netflix on his phone, one hand absently shoving cereal into his mouth. He realized that he hadn't eaten properly in days, and added pizza to his plan. He loved to look through the "Documentaries" page, and there were a few new ones that were of interest. He picked one that looked relatively boring and added it to his list before putting his cereal away. Now all he had to do was get Dan to agree to hang out with him, which judging by his behavior could be pretty difficult.

He managed to run into Dan as he was leaving the bathroom, clearly just out of the shower. His towel was hanging low on his hips and Phil forced himself not to look, reminding himself that Dan was his friend and nothing more. At least for the moment.

He tries to keep his voice as level and calm as possible, "Want to get a pizza tonight? There's a new documentary on Netflix and I thought we could watch it."

"Sure." Dan looks and sounds like he's about to be sick, and Phil finally takes in his appearance. Dark circles hung under his eyes, eyes that looked glazed and exhausted, and his skin looked like it had been scrubbed raw. Maybe Dan was upset at him. That was another thing he had to worry about now.

"Okay." Phil walked away before he did something stupid like kissed Dan and told him that he still loved him and wanted to make him happy.

Why was this so hard?


End file.
